Sugar
by wallflower85
Summary: "As we age, we learn that if you ignore a problem, it doesn't go away. I missed that."  Faced with the consequences of a night of passion with her almost married best friend, Bella runs to try to avoid drama.  Trouble is, it finds her again.  AH
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: SM owns these characters. They're just on a short field trip.

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><p><em><span>July 7, 2007<span>_

I always viewed love as something I would experience. It was never a question of if, but when. I imagined in my naivety of youth that love would be a glorious thing that would be full of romantic gestures and fairytale endings.

When I was little, I used to daydream about the man I would fall in love with. I imagined he would be tall, but not too tall, just taller than my Dad. He would be honest, loyal, and most of all, he would love me with all of his heart.

I imagined a love like my parents. My parents had what many little girls dreamed of. High school sweethearts that lasted through years of hardships and trials only to come out stronger in the end. Of course, I didn't understand those hardships until I was older and had developed a jaded view of the world.

What Disney and every fairytale out there doesn't tell you is that love doesn't always have a happy ending. Sometimes love isn't enough, and though we may try, it doesn't always last. And sometimes, love destroys you and leaves you with nothing but an empty shell.

No one tells you love is a dangerous thing with the power to inflict the most agonizing pain imaginable. That there are no fairytale endings and love doesn't always conquer all.

I never imagined that I would fall for the man that I did. I never imagined myself being where I am now, unmarried, pregnant, and alone; running away from the shambles of my former life with no hope of repair.

The clock on my dash says 3:25 pm. At about this moment, the man I fell in love with, the father of my unborn child, my childhood best friend, is saying "I do" to someone other than me. He's saying heartfelt vows; declaring his love and devotion in front of all of his friends and family to someone other than me. He's gazing adoringly and lovingly at his beautiful bride, someone other than me, and living the best day of his life, with someone other than me.

My hand rests on my still flat stomach and my vision blurs and a lump in my throat forms as I think about the last conversation we had. The one where he was paler than death and shaking his head in disbelief while muttering how this couldn't be happening to him. Not now, not to him, not to _them_. It took him a good 15 minutes before he shook himself out of it and hastily wrote me a check while begging me to "take care of it". Those were his exact words.

You would think that this would be the moment where I gave up all hope on the idea of us. Nope. Turns out, I'm secretly a masochist because I held out hope that he would change his mind at the last minute and decide that I was the one he wanted. That I was the one he was supposed to be with all along.

That was two months ago. For six weeks of those two months, I've held out hope; wishing and praying that I would get my happy ending. I answered every phone call and every knock at the door like it was him coming to confess his undying love and beg for forgiveness for the harsh things he said.

That never happened. At the end of those six weeks, I was forced to realize that it was never going to happen.

I can pinpoint the exact moment when any hope I had was shattered into a million little pieces along with my heart. I can't recall all the details of that moment, because they weren't significant enough to be noticed over my broken and bleeding heart. They weren't important. What was important was that I had lost all hope and realized I had to face this life changing event completely on my own. What I did notice was not only the marriage announcement in the paper in front of me but also the couple in question standing at the counter of the cupcake shop I was sitting at. They looked so happy, so intensely in love with each other that they didn't notice anything or anyone around them. Not even me, the former best friend and childhood neighbor of the groom who also happened to be the mother of his illegitimate unborn child. He didn't care that my world was forever changed and my heart was shattered beyond repair, maybe forever.

It took me two weeks, all of my life savings, and twenty six boxes to pack up what my life had amounted to.

Twenty six boxes. That's incredibly depressing. All my life could be reduced to twenty six boxes.

I allowed myself to check my phone one final time, my last allowance of hope, before I finally, _finally_, gave up. Nothing. No missed text messages, no missed calls, no emails. Nothing.

In resignation, I chucked that stupid phone out the window. My last shred of hope going with it.

Watching my rear view mirror, I watched it shatter, just like my heart. It gave me a weird sense of satisfaction.

I'd found that if my music was loud enough, it drowned out the sound of my thoughts. Anything to drown out the silence and thoughts of how I'm completely alone now. Well, almost.

So with the stereo turned up and the open road in front of me, I set out to meet my new life.


	2. Chapter 2

This story will be completely in BPOV

Disclaimer: Anything recognizable is not my own.

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><p>For the record, running away is in no way glamorous or easy. In real life, it's hard work, stress, and heartbreak. See, the problem with running away is that few actually look past the act itself. Those who do, have my respect, and a little bit of my resentment because they thought to do something that I hadn't.<p>

Once the adrenaline wore off, I was left with a myriad of emotions ranging from excitement to panic. I was faced with the reality of my ill thought out plan. The reality was that I had no idea what I was doing. I had no goal in mind. I briefly entertained the idea of asking the young girls at the fast food place I stopped at if they knew how to play M.A.S.H. and if they'd play it with me. It seemed as good an idea as any.

For the rest of the day I just drove. I had no real goal in mind, just an intense need to put as many miles in one day between myself and the situation I was running from. All my adult life I had been a planner. I had goals and an endless amount of lists. I blame my mother and her lack of organization for this. I stopped when I wanted to or had to, but never for very long. It was all very freeing to have no idea what I was doing.

As I lay in bed, I succumbed to a seemingly endless night of crying over what could have been but will never be. I let myself remember just what had brought me to this point.

I mourned the loss of all the things I had filled my life with. It seemed that all of the things I had given up had one thing and one thing only in common. I had settled for all of it. My apartment wasn't what I originally wanted for myself, but settled for it because it was practical and close to my job. My job, a high school English teacher, was the first one I had been offered out of college and I had stayed not because I had a passion for it, but because I was comfortable with it and it utilized my degree in English and education. My degree was what I let my Mother talk me into because it was stable and the career path I would be put on was steady. I didn't have many friends, just acquaintances really, so I wouldn't really miss them. It was only the one friend that I would miss. The one friend that I had mistakenly given everything I had to.

I had always felt something more for him, but never had the courage to actually do something about it. When I had actually made my move, I felt on top of the world. I thought the feeling was mutual. When he showed up at my apartment the night our love affair started, I felt that something was different. I could actually feel that something was about to change us forever. Nothing out of the ordinary happened at first. We talked of the usual things, our jobs, his family (my family had passed away of a gunshot wound for my father and a broken heart for my mother), just life in general.

As the night wore on and he became more agitated and nervous, I could tell something was bothering him, something big.

_(Flash back)_

_He picked up his glass of whiskey, his third of the evening and blurted out with no warning, "Idon'tthinkI'mreadytogetmarried."_

_I thought I was imagining things as I had dreamed of him saying this exact thing to me since he first told me he was engaged. There was a long pause before I responded. "I'm sorry, what was that?"_

_He took a deep breath, looked me squarely in the eye, and said slowly, "I don't think I'm ready to get married."_

_Shock was the only thing I felt at first. Then came excitement with a little bit of hope._

"_Edward, that's a big thing to say just three months before your wedding."_

_Sighing heavily, he ran a hand through his already messy hair. "Yeah, it is, and it's three and a half months. It's just that, this is all happening so fast. I mean, I'm only 26. Do I really want to settle down now? I love Tanya; don't get me wrong, but what if it's not a forever kind of love? What if I wake up, years from now, and regret this? It's killing me to think this way, but I can't stop these thoughts from coming. Tanya's so excited and so sure for this all to be happening. Both of our families want this. We come from similar families and backgrounds. My mother loves her. We've been together for so long now, six years, this is the next step for us. This is just cold feet that I'm feeling, it has to be. This is completely normal. Every groom-to-be goes through this at some point, right?"_

_He looked at me so pleadingly to just agree with him, that I felt torn. One part of me wanted to be the good friend that I am and just agree with him that this was normal, that this was something everyone when through before taking such a big step in their lives._

_The other part of me, the part that's been hopelessly in love with him since I was a little girl, wanted to do cartwheels that he, Edward Cullen, man of my dreams, was thinking this way and had come to me with it. I always held out hope that eventually, he'd open his eyes to what was right in front of him and realize that the love I had to offer was exactly right for him, that we belonged together._

_Before I could respond with either, he continued on._

"_I never thought growing up that I'd be settling down this young in life. I thought I'd enjoy my twenties to the fullest and eventually get married when I was closer to thirty."_

_He was playing with his empty glass so I got up to get him another drink, but instead just grabbed the whole bottle. It was going to be one of those nights._

_A little later in the evening, after I had drunk just passed my limit to be sufficiently buzzed; I interrupted his monolog of verbalized thoughts with the question that had been bothering me from the start of the night._

_I turned my body on the couch so that we were both sitting sideways, facing each other with very little space between us. _

"_Edward, Where did this all come from. You seemed fine up until today, as far as I can tell. You seemed happy. Why now?"_

_It may have come out slightly slurred. I did say I was buzzed._

"_I was fine. I just hit me though. I was _just_ fine. It's not that I'm not excited, I am, but I'm not counting down the days, the hours, until I'm married. I was at the office, and one of the secretaries was talking about her upcoming wedding. She was so excited. It was like it took all she had to just sit there and do something other than daydream about her wedding. I never daydream about my wedding. Then I thought I want to be like that. I want what she has._

"_You wanna know something? I always thought I'd end up with you. Even when I was with someone else, I thought I'd still end up with you. No matter what, at the end of any relationship either of us were in, we were still there for each other at the end."_

_When he said this, I had to stop drinking for fear of choking. He thought that of me? Of us? My hope started to grow._

"_That's funny. I thought that too."_

_He didn't need to know just how much I had thought about that, or that I still thought that today._

_And the way he was looking at me now, it was like he was finally seeing me for the woman I had become, not the girl I used to be. I could feel my hope growing along with my arousal. It was incredibly erotic how he was appraising me with his eyes. How he lingered in the areas I'd dreamt of for years._

_There was a new look in his darkening eyes, one I hadn't seen directed at me before. Lust._

"_I don't think that's all that funny."_

_He continued to devour my body with his hungry eyes, licking his lips as he undressed me with his eyes._

_I drank the last of my glass, hoping it would give me the extra courage I needed to do what I was about to._

_I leaned forward just a bit so that my breasts were jutted out just a bit and rested my hand on his bent leg in the middle of his thigh._

_I tried to give him a smoldering look and licked my lips, "You're right, I guess it's not all that funny."_

_It worked. His eyes first darted to my modest chest, then my hand, and then finally settled on my lips, then to my eyes._

_I barely had time to register how much want was in his eyes before he lunged at me somewhat gracelessly. The force had pushed me so that I was lying on my back on the couch with him on top of me._

_Then his lips were on mine and it was more than I'd ever dreamed of. They were pillow soft and silky smooth. There was so much passion behind his kiss it was dizzying. I felt his tongue on my bottom lip asking for entrance and I didn't hesitate before letting him._

_The feel and taste of him was indescribable. I moved my hands up to his hair to hold his face closer to mine while his hands found purchase on my hips. Moans and groans could be heard from both of us as our tongues battled for dominance. I didn't care who won, just as long as we continued to kiss._

_I could feel my body tingle and buzz as I became more and more aroused the deeper our kissing went. I knew he could feel his obvious affect on me with my pert nipples pressed to his chest. This glorious kiss went on for what both felt like forever and entirely not long enough. I'd probably never get enough of kissing this man._

_As our tongues continued to explore, I felt his hand moving upward under my shirt slowly, painfully slowly. Just has his hands finally reached where I ached for them to, he pulled his mouth away from mine to suck, lick, and nibble my neck and gave a breathless moan, "Bella."_

_All I could do was moan in response._

_He cupped my left breast tenderly at first and tentatively massaged me. He was encouraged by my moans because he gradually became more aggressive, roughly massaging me while pulling and tweaking my nipples. He brought his other arm up to rest it above my head._

_I spread my legs wide to accommodate him and when he nestled in between them, I felt the evidence of his arousal. I had always wondered about him, his size and girth. He was larger than anything I dared to hope for. And when he ground himself into me, we both moaned in pleasure but it wasn't enough._

_I somehow managed to pant out, "Bedroom."_

_He grabbed my ass and lifted us both up off the couch and started walking toward my bedroom. I wrapped my legs around him and continued to grind my core into his erection as he walked. We resumed kissing so I didn't notice we had arrived until we landed on my bed in a tangled mass of limbs._

_We picked up where we left off on the couch and groped each other over our clothes. He took my shirt off first; it had to be him first, then my bra, and hungrily started at my naked breast. Before he could pounce on me I sat up and took his shirt off too._

_Now, I had seen him without his shirt on many times before, but this was different. This was sexual and intimate. This was awesome._

_As we continued kissing passionately, he squeezed my breasts and teased my nipples while shamelessly grinding his jean covered dick into my hot center. _

_I let my hands explore what only my eyes had before. I traced the muscles of his pectoral muscles and abs. I brushed over his nipples which earned a hiss in response from him. As he continued to drive me insane with lust, I dug my nails into his back. He bucked into me harder._

_His hands moved down to the waist of my jeans and faster than I thought possible, I was before him in just my underwear. He looked me in the eye as he reached for my panties, the point of no return, waiting for approval to continue on. I licked my lips and moaned yes. Then I was lying naked, legs propped and slightly spread in front him._

_He placed his hands on my knees and opened my legs fully. The way he was looking at me set me on fire. It made me feel sexy and powerful and somehow worthy of this sinfully sexy man in front of me._

"_Beautiful."_

_I thought I'd blush at that. I didn't. The way he said it so reverently made me feel more empowered. I tried to smirk and say in my best sultry voice, "You have too many clothes on."_

_I sat up and crashed my lips to his. He eagerly welcomed my mouth and tongue back with his while leaning forward and caressing my back with his large, soft hands. _

_He lowered us back down to the bed while I undid the button on his jeans. I slowly slid down the zipper, not wanted to catch his boxer briefs and ruin the mood. Once that was done, I pulled the jeans down as far as I could reach and pushed the rest down with my foot. He seemed to like that so I repeated the process with his boxer briefs, freeing his slightly larger than normal dick from its tight confines._

_Now, I've never really been one to admire penises before, but his was a sight to behold. It was long, thick, and stiff, throbbing with need and want for me. It was truly magnificent._

_I grabbed him firmly and started to stroke him while he rubbed his fingers on my clit. When I started moving faster, he moaned loudly and inserted first one finger, then two into my dripping wet pussy. He worked me up to my first orgasm quickly while I firmly stroked his dick._

_With his fingers still inside of me, I reached over to my bedside table and grabbed the one of the little foil packets I always kept there._

"_I need you inside of me. Please, I want you to fuck me."_

_He grabbed the packet from me and slid the condom on. When I felt his tip at my entrance, I gave one final nod to him that yes, I really wanted this._

_He slowly pushed all the way into me and we moaned in unison at the feel._

"_God, you're so hot and tight. I'm not going to last Bella."_

"_Oh God Edward, you feel so good."_

_I moved my hips to get him moving again. He took the hint and pulled almost all the way out and pushed forcefully back into me._

"_Oh yes, just like that. God you feel so good. I want you to fuck me harder."_

"_Yeah, you liked that baby? You like it hard, don't you?" This turned me on even more. Who knew Edward's dirty talk could be so hot?_

_Hoping I didn't sound like a porn star, I moaned back, "Yes, I want you to give it to me hard. Shove your hard cock into me. Harder, Edward, harder." _

_He grabbed my legs and pushed them up to my breast, allowing him to go deeper into me. He increased his pace and continued to push me to the edge._

"_Oh god baby, I going to come. I need you to come with me."_

_I moved my hand down to my clit and started rubbing furiously. I was just about to climax when he came, calling out my name and pulled me over the edge with him screaming his name._

_Once we had come down from our highs, he pulled out of me and disposed of the condom. He lay down behind me and pulled me to him. He held me while we both fell asleep._

_(End flashback)_

He was gone before I woke up in the morning. After that I didn't see or hear from him again for two weeks after that.

He was apologetic and vague in his explanation of where he'd been and how he'd been feeling. He simply said he knew what he wanted now and he was going to do everything he could to get it. I mistakenly thought he might have meant me.

We saw each other regularly, and he explained that while that night had been great, thought we should slow things down. It made sense, he was either in the process of ending things with Tanya, or he already had and wanted to ease back into things.

When I found out that we were pregnant, I was ecstatic. The timing wasn't great, but this was part of both Edward and I. It was proof of our love that we created together.

I was nervous but excited to tell Edward. I never imagined I'd get the response from him that I did.

That particular memory was too painful for me to remember. I barely survived it once; there was no way I'd survive it again knowing what I do now.

Eventually I had cried myself out and finally drifted off to sleep. Hopefully tomorrow would be brighter.

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><p>NA: What do you think?


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